Chapter Twenty-Five
Better lock up the pastor’s study, Adam thought as he slowly walked
around in the room of books and paintings and art before he left. He breathed
in all the sweet smells of a man who knows who he is and why he is. Was Pops
ever like this? Adam’s question hung in the air with no answer.
Adam moved around the room slowly
taking everything in. He ran his fingers across the back of the deep maroon
leather chair that sat at the desk and drank in the perfume of the hide. He
carefully picked up a brass figurine of a small child with his curly head laid
in the lap of Christ. The piece was amazing and roused the artist within him.
He longed for his home, his family, and he grieved for the loss of his own
future, of who he could have become.
I trust
you, Adam, he heard Pastor Silverman say. What would we ever do without
you?
Adam looked
around the room again. “I do belong in an office like this.” Alone and defeated
or not, there was one thing he always believed in. It was something Pops had
said. “Tomorrow is always better if you
live fully in today.”
Pops also
said, “Hard work never hurt anyone, Son. Laziness destroys the body, the mind,
the spirit, and the future of anyone.”
Pops? Why
do I remember words of wisdom from him? I haven’t cared what Pops had said for
a long time. Why am I thinking about him now all of a sudden? He left us and
won’t ever come back.
“I have loosed your memory, My Son,”
Shaddi spoke in his ear. “Remember more.”
Moms’ words as he left the sanatarium
on Christmas rattled around in his head. “Be fair Adam. Your daddy did not
leave us. He was drafted. Your father was . . . no . . . he is a quiet man.
But, just because he didn’t talk very much, that does not define his character.
He loved us both. He would never desert his country or his family.”
“Truth is
the only present I have for you today,” she had said as she kissed him goodbye
at the sanatarium. “But, if you will accept the gift, truth will be the most
valuable present you will ever receive. Make your peace with the memory of your
father, Adam. Only you will suffer if you don’t.”
A gift is
it? The “truth” she called it. Tears filled his eyes and that made him
angry too. He didn’t want to cry over
anything. He was cried out. But, what if Moms is right?
Adam locked
the office door and ran his fingers over the panels in the dark, heavy
wood. Now I have to get busy. If
I don’t, this day will drag on and turn into all the others, full of nothing.
Fritzy doesn’t believe me anymore. Mr. G. is probably in the hospital because
he thinks I’m a thief. But—maybe things can be different. I
know some people believe in me.
He grabbed
the sweeper off the floor where he had dropped it and put in the new filter
Alfred had nearly died over. Why didn’t I stop him? He cleaned the
carpets vigorously, then the mop boards, the window sills, and the furniture.
He put a clean cloth over the end of a dust mop and carefully ran the extended
dust rag over the surface of all the stained glass windows. With the furniture
polish he found in the utility closet, he rubbed the pulpit, lectern, and pews
until they shone.
As he
worked, he could feel anger and tension flow from his muscles, mind and
heart—out through his hands and arms as he polished and cleaned. He laughed out
loud. Pops was right! As impossible as that would have been to admit a
few days ago, he was living proof Pops’ wisdom was true. Hard
work cleanses the mind, the soul, and the body.
Then why
do I still feel so confused all the time? Why am I always on the
washboard road of life? Why are things so rough? Why does every face of joy
have to wear a dark mask? Will life always be this way?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Another day dawned in the belfry on Cranberry Street. I
cannot drag myself out of bed. I don’t want to face anything. Adam rolled
over and stared at the empty room. The hummingbird was still gone and he was
still alone. I have to see Mr. G., not because I must, because I want to
want to.
Adam was surprised. He was not stiff
or sore as he thought he would be after the previous day’s hard work. He smiled
to himself when he thought about all he had accomplished. Amazing how a good
day’s work makes you feel great.
The wind had blown hard and cold
during the night. Icy air howled through the old rafters and made the room seem
even more cold than the temperature would have revealed. He heard limbs crack
from tall tree trunks and wondered when one would come through the roof.
Adam
certainly didn’t look forward to the hike across town, especially with such a
heavy heart, in such a heavy snow fall. How could he look Mr. Gunderman in the
eye when Mr. G. thought he was a thief? He had never even seen the carving of
the Christ Child and he would never have taken the carving that was so precious
to everyone. The strange fact that both he and the thieves needed twenty-five
dollars was just a coincidence.
“I don’t
know why those guys need the money,” Adam mumbled to the cold, empty tower
room. “My cause is noble, well sort of. I needed twenty-five dollars to buy
some coal for the farm and to take Frederica to the New Years Eve Party, but
now she thinks I’m a liar.” He stumbled around as he looked for his left
clodhopper. “I did not lie. I just didn’t tell her about my life. Why would I?
She wouldn’t have wanted to be around me if she knew.” The more he thought
about the whole situation, the madder he got.
“Wait ‘til
she finds out Pops might be a deserter, even if he used to be a good man.” His
feelings about his father were a thrill ride, at the top Pops was a great guy,
at the bottom a reprobate. That made him even more angry. Why couldn’t he
settle his feelings on the man? Why was Pops okay one day and totally
unacceptable the next?
He shoved
his foot into the shoe that was half buried under his bedding. As he bent over
to tie the laces, he spied the little saucer in the corner of the tower and
thought of the hummer.
“Just
another deserter.” He felt his heart harden with the cement of bitterness. He
had plunged once again into the icy, acidic waters of despair. “At least a
stone-cold heart will be harder to break.”
I can’t
procrastinate any longer. If I’m going to visit Mr. G. I had better get
started. He put on his coat, hat and gloves and started out on foot. His
first stop was at Pastor Silverman’s home.
“Good
morning, Adam,” Mrs. Silverman greeted when she opened the door.
“I need to
return Pastor’s keys, Ma’am.”
“Hi Adam,”
Pastor Silverman chimed in.
“Yes Sir,
Good morning. I’m returning your keys.” Adam handed over the ring with the
fob in the shape of a cross.
“Thank you,
Adam,” Pastor said with enthusiasm. “We are so lucky to have someone like you
covering for all of us when things happen. We can depend on you.”
“Thank you,
Sir.” There’s that flattery again. Does he mean what he says or is he
just being happy, happy, happy like a lot of other church people?
“Can we get you some coffee or hot
chocolate, Adam?” Mrs. Silverman offered.
“No thank
you. I have to be on my way.” He didn’t tell them where he was going. They’d
probably want to drive me over. I can’t be beholding to everyone in town, he
thought as he started out. He had never minded walking. He was used to being on
foot. That was simply how he got to places he wanted or needed to go.
An hour
later, covered with icy snow, both on the inside and the out, he stumbled into
the main entrance of Middletown Community Hospital. “I would like to see Alfred
Gunderman,” Adam whispered and gasped for air as he tried to regain warmth to
the breath within him.
“Are you all
right?” The receptionist at the Information Desk asked when she saw the tall
young boy stagger in. “You don’t have enough spek on your bones to keep you
warm.”
“Yes,
Ma’am.” Adam blew on his hands but his lungs were so full of cold air, little
warmth breathed forth. “I would like to see Alfred Gunderman, please,” he
repeated. “What room is he in?”
“Are you
family?”
“Sort of
like family.” Shaddi what do I say? Then he remembered what
Alfred had said. “I live with him.”
While the
receptionist looked up the room number, Adam turned his back to the desk. He
blew again on his frozen fingers, this time with the warm
breath heated by the presence of Shaddi.
“That’s
fine, Young Man.” The reception said as she looked down at her notebook. “Let’s
see, he is in room 204, at least for a while. He’ll go home this afternoon.”
“Great!”
Adam started down the hall toward the elevator.
“Two-hundred
. . .” he marked off the numbers from the end of the hall. “Two-hundred two,
two-hundred four,” he ticked them off and stopped. Adam took a deep breath,
squared his shoulders, and walked in.
“Adam,” Mrs.
Gunderman hurried over and gave the boy a big grandma-hug. “Tell me you didn’t
walk.”
“I can’t,
‘cause I did.”
“Well, I
will run you back to town when you’re ready to go. I have to pick up some pills
at the pharmacy for Al. Then, I’ll come back here this afternoon and take him
home.”
“How are
your doing?” Adam approached the bedside cautiously. Mr. Gunderman looked weak
to him and Adam was worried.
“Adam,
what a surprise. You didn’t have to walk all the way over here. I’m fine. Some
little pills the doc ordered are going to fix me up real
good.” Mr. Gunderman reached out his hand and took Adam’s in his.
“I thought
your heart attack was my fault―”
“Your fault?
No, no, no. My ticker just complains a little sometimes. Doc said I was really
lucky this time. He said something caused it to start up again after it
stopped. That’s why I need you at the church to help me. To take a little of
the load off.”
Adam heard
what Alfred had said and a sense of knowing came over him, but that wasn’t what
he worried about right then. “Mr. Gunderman, I did not take that Christ Child
carving.” Adam was emphatic.
“My
goodness, Boy, I know that.” He was not ready to let go of Adam’s hand. “I
didn’t get to finish what I was saying yesterday. I have worried about that for
the past few hours.”
“Don’t worry
because of me, Mr. G.”
“And why
not?”
“I have
lived a lie—for months now. I didn’t expect you to believe the truth.”
“We shook
hands on the truth, Adam.” He smiled with a caring smile. “Now you let me
finish. I just meant that it was interesting that both you and the thief said
you need the same amount of money, twenty-five dollars. I figured, he must be a
young person, like you.” He looked at Adam thoughtfully. “Now, what is all this
talk about lies?”
“I just make
up things that make me look better than I am. I like nice stories, make
believe, rather than the real stuff that’s so hard. Like hummingbirds flying
south on the wings of Northern geese. Nice tale, but not true, just made up to
make things sound miraculous.” Adam hung his head, his voice was a whisper.
“But the
hummingbird story is a miracle, Adam. No, they don’t piggyback on larger birds.
But, those tiny hummers, who have to eat nectar all of the time, manage to fly
all the way across our southern states to Mexico or Central America with only
God as their strength. Some fly through the eastern two thirds of Texas and
others through Florida and Cuba. Some little birds fly right across the Gulf of
Mexico. If you don’t think that’s a miracle, you don’t recognize the miracles
that are all around you.”
Adam smiled
and thought about what Mr. Gunderman was saying, but said nothing.
“You
shouldn’t live a lie, Son. If a tiny bird can fly hundreds of miles Adam, you
can endure what you are dealt. I know you have the strength.”
“I’m afraid,
Mr. G. If people knew me, they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like me.” He was
silent a minute while fear boiled inside him.
The corners
of the hospital room grew dark. Maybe a cloud passed in front of the sun, but
Adam didn’t think so. He felt the presence of the shadow people but he did not
see them or smell their repulsive odor. He chose to disavow them. In his mind,
they were not there.
“Does anyone
still think I stole the statue,” Adam asked cautiously. He wanted to know, but
he didn’t want to hear the answer. “Like the Bremans—or maybe Fritzy?” Adam
could not stand the thought that his name may have been ruined.
“I don’t
know, Son. I’ve been in here.”
I do. She
was mad.
“I’m glad
you’re still here Adam,” Mrs. Gunderman said as she breezed back into the room.
“Could I get you to do me a favor?”
“Now a boy
can always use a good cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup,” Gunderman
suggested.
“All right
then, for a sandwich and a bowl of soup, would you please help me take down the
Christmas tree at our house and move the living room furniture around so Alfred
can see out the window this afternoon when he gets home? While he rests, he
would enjoy watching the comings and goings up and down the street.”
“Sure.”
“Arletta, I
can move that furniture.” Alfred insisted as he rose up on his elbow.
“No!”
Arletta and Adam responded in unison.
■
■ ■
“Now you come right in here, Adam. We’ll tend to lunch
first.” Once they were back at the house, Mrs. Gunderman led the way to the
kitchen. “I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday noon either. I stayed
at the hospital with Al last evening.”
“You must be
hungry too, Mrs. G.”
“I hadn’t
thought about food but—oh my. Adam, look at this!” Arletta stood at the kitchen
sink and looked out over the back yard.
“I heard the
wind blowing last night, but I never thought―”
Outside the
Gunderman’s kitchen window the view was a jumble of twisted, broken branches
and icy tree limbs. The entire half of Gunderman’s large maple tree that faced
the house lay on the ground and the small top branches draped over the back
porch rail.
“A few more
inches and that tree would be laying in the kitchen, Mrs. G.”
“Well, now,”
Mrs. Gunderman rolled up her sleeves and got out a soup pan, “I believe I have several jobs for you, if you want them.”
“Okay,” he
didn’t know yet what she had in mind but he didn’t want to go back to the cold,
windy bell tower—not yet.
“I’ll show
you where I want you to put the chair and you can move the furniture while I
fix lunch. Then, if you want to make some money after lunch, you can get the ax
out of the shed,” she paused and looked at Adam carefully. “Have you ever used
an ax?”
“Sure.”
“Now don’t
tell me a story, Adam. Don’t stretch the truth. Holding an ax is not the same
as using one. Do you know how to swing an ax and not chop your foot off? I
can’t send you home to your ma with only half a foot.”
“Yes, Ma’am,
I mean, no Ma’am.” He stammered a little but he was telling the truth. He had
helped his grandfather chop wood many times, even as a ten-year-old. “You want
me to clear that tree away from the house for you?”
“Well, yes,
I do. I want you to chop the whole thing up for firewood. If you can get all
that done, I’ll give you the four dollars I have in my purse and you can keep
all the wood you chop. How is that for a creative barter?”
“That would
be great!” Of course! he nearly shouted inside. He hadn’t thought that
they could heat the farmhouse with wood in the fireplaces. “I think that
is how the farmhouse had been heated when the home was first built. That
would be great.”
After lunch,
the weather was still bitter cold but Adam jumped right into the job, thankful
for the hard work, for being able to help Mr. G., for the money, and especially
for the wood. Besides, the hard work kept him warm in spite of the unrelenting
winter. With every swing of the ax, he thought of Moms.
When Moms
gets home, we’ll
have a family again. His mind raced through the empty rooms of the
farmhouse and turned on every light. But, with the new illumination came the
bold truth that Pops wasn’t part of the picture, not now, maybe not ever.
Shaddi,
give me super strength. Adam swung the ax high, the full stretch of his
arms, and brought the blade down swift and hard onto the downed trunk. The work
went fast, strike upon strike, blow upon blow. He envisioned the rapid, jerky
movements of an old time movie, with Charlie Chaplin toddling down the road in
record time.
When Adam
finished all the chopping, he used a maul and wedges to wrestle the
largest logs into firewood size pieces.
Mrs. G. had told him to pile up the split wood by the shed until he was able to
have the logs transported out to the farm. He stood back and looked at the
stack of firewood with pride.
Mrs. G.
opened the storm door and called to the boy. “It looks great Adam.”
“It’s a
fourth of a cord. I’m sure of it,” he puffed with pride. “I know that a cord of
wood measures four feet wide by four feet high and eight feet long when the
logs are lined up in tightly stacked rows of the same size pieces.” He stood
back and eyed the work he had just done.
“Leaning against the shed, I know that stack is a fourth of a cord.”
“Wonderful!”
she called out as she started to close the door against the genuine winter day.
“You’ve done a fine job.”
As Adam
stood admiring his hard, muscle-building work, he realized a truth. With all of
the talk about honesty, he still preferred the lie. He knew that wood needs a
whole year to cure until he can burn the logs in the fireplace, but he could not
face that fact, that truth. All he could see in his homey, imagined scene, was
his mother and him sitting in front of a nice warm fire in their own home.
“Adam, come
in here please,” Mrs. G. called from the house.
He put away
all of the tools he had used and went back into the warmth of the kitchen.
“I have been
thinking,” Arletta began and patted the kitchen chair beside her. “Would you
like a cup of cocoa? I’ll make you a cup.”
“Yes, Ma’am,
that would be great. It is cold out there.” He rubbed his hands together to
generate some heat and blew on them with Shaddi’s help.
Mrs. G.
passed him the cup and he warmed his hands some more as he wrapped them around
the mug. He even thought of putting his fingers in the hot drink. Then he
thought of a better idea and blew across the surface of the warm chocolate so
the steam could rise and warm his face.
“I have been
thinking,” Mrs. G. began. “We still haven’t gotten to the guest area yet, but
that’s okay for today. The tree interrupted us.”
“Yes,
Ma’am.”
“That little
guest space has a bedroom, a small sitting room and a bathroom. The apartment
is very comfortable. There’s even a little kitchenette. I wonder—now please,
don’t take this the wrong way. I know you have a home and family but—I
understand from Alfred that your mother has been in the TB Sanitarium and is
ready to be released as soon as your home is ready for her. Is that right?”
“Yes,” Adam
spoke slowly and wondered what she was getting at. Did everybody in town know
that he was homeless, that Moms was sick, and that Pops was a deserter?
“I wonder if
you and your mother would be willing to move into the guest house for a few
months while your house is readied for your mother’s return. When school starts
again, after this Christmas break, I’ll have to go back to work. I’m a cook in
the elementary school cafeteria. I know Alfred will not stop working at the
church but Pastor will be around every day to remind him to slow down. And, you
will be there after school to help him lighten his workload. I sure would feel
more at peace if your mother was around here at my home, so she could check on
him on Al’s days off. Not do anything, mind ya. I know she’s been sick. I
wouldn’t expect her to do a lick of work, but if she sees him laying on the
ground in the back yard, I would feel better if someone was here to call for
help.”
“Well―” Adam
didn’t know what to say.
“Al said the
place where you are now living is too small for both you and your mother.”
“Small, yes,
too small—among other things.” He tried to make sense of all that had happened.
Thoughts and doubts ricocheted around in his head. Why would anyone do
anything that big for me? She doesn’t know I’ve been homeless?
“How much
would the rent be?” Adam asked. Nothing’s ever free. What else will happen?
With every blessing comes a curse.
“Oh, there
would be no rent, Adam. You would be doing me a favor. I couldn’t pay you and
your mother very much, maybe $5.00 a week?”
“Pay us?”
“Yes, Dear,
of course—for keeping your eye out after Alfred and you could keep the sidewalk
shoveled. School will be over in May and then I’ll be home all day through the
summer. I can keep my eye on that scamp myself. What do you think?”
“I haven’t
seen the space, but if you think the apartment will work, then I guess the place will be okay.” Adam’s head was in a spin.
Having a place for Moms to come home was a good thing, he knew that. But, he
still didn’t want to accept help from others.
“Don’t be
takin’ handouts from anyone,” Grandpa had always warned.
Adam felt
poorer than poor. He had no money, no warm home, no running water, no
electricity, and no father to make things right. When would the hard luck end?
Was this the beginning of the end? Was he now the man in the family? Had Shaddi
provided the space or Mr. O’Shaughnessy? And, what would be the cost if the
benefactor was the little one?
The sequel, Escape from the Shadows, is available on Amazon and B&N.com. For a discount, go to www.dorisgainesrapp.com.
The sequel, Escape from the Shadows, is available on Amazon and B&N.com. For a discount, go to www.dorisgainesrapp.com.